If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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