I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
