A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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