I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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