Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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