dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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