its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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