if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
