I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
is that a dick in a sweater?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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