Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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