I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
