the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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