i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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