Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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