im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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