yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
