Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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