he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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