too bad you live with your parents still
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
