I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
