I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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