doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
