My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
