He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
