so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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