Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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