last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
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you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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