And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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