I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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