She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
