new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize