Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
