i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
well you can't waste a boner
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
is it fun? or sober?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
