chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
