Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
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