you guys were way drunker than both of me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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