WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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