i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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