I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
