she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
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I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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