I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
