i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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