"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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