So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
