Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
