I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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