I'm eating all of the evidence.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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