Little spoons don't ask big questions
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
