Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
