I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize