If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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