Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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