great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
