I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need to sanitize my soul.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
