So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
