In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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