Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
