ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Farmville is her only friend.
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The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
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some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"