I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?