what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have already put on my inside pants.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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